“Just walk away”- Lord Humongous, best-dressed bad guy (PS: NO FRANK, YET)

Well, here we are. Large and round at 38 weeks (and 1 day) pregnant. And by “we” I mean me. No one else is sharing in the uncomfortableness quite the same way. My belly is “out there” and always in the way, my hands are somewhat swollen and tingly, I’m having more and more contractions (accompanied by the occasional twinge in the pelvic area), and I sleep restlessly and wake up at least once in the middle of the night to pee. On top of the “normal” pregnancy side effects, I get asked e v e r y d a y about the baby. “Is Frank here yet?”, “no baby?”, “when are you having that baby?”…I PROMISE IT WILL NOT BE KEPT A SECRET WHEN HE GETS HERE, GUYS. And trust me, I (above all others) am more than ready to meet the little bugger. Your concern and asking/checking in is well-received but also slightly annoying, bc all I want to do is have this baby at this point. Love you all, and I assure you Frank will arrive when he wants to and you will all be notified.
There is a lot I do everyday to help pass the time, and there is a lot I do to encourage the babe to show himself. I exercise (yoga, walking, weeding/gardening, house chores) throughout the day.

continuing my practice has been a huge help

38 weeks pregnancy shelf

I walk lots. I do my kegels and squats like a good little lady, and still nothing. Maybe I am doing too much? Is that a thing? Is too much activity working against me in this? #lesigh Frank is probably in there like “NEVAAA!!!” I suppose I will just keep on doing normal things and accept the fact that baby will arrive when he’s good and ready. After all, the longer he’s in there, the chubbier he gets! #ILOVECHUBBYBABIES

Recent happenings:

~Oliver went on a trip with his dad to Chicago this last weekend. I’m actually waiting for him to come home (should be today around lunch time). His dad took him to the aquarium Friday and they stayed in a hotel, then went to a wildlife preserve and saw/fed buffalo camped outside Saturday. Yesterday, they went to a water park… Just lots and lots of fun stuff! I’m sure he is thrilled about coming home to boring ol me- mommy who is too pregnant to do all the things! I am really looking forward to him being back, though. Nothing is the same/normal when he is away. And he is my favorite little man.

~My belly bump at 38 weeks looks so much smaller than it did when I was pregnant with Ollie. Not complaining or anything, just noticing that maybe the 65+ lbs I gained my first pregnancy didn’t look this “cute” (even though I feel I’ve complained a lot more about uncomfortableness this pregnancy).

~I invited friends over Saturday for an impromptu grill out, and it was lovely. Cass, Kev, Whit, Jeff, Jos, Jay & a couple of dude bros of Jan’s showed up. Good turn out, good convos, and good foods. Reminded me of the cook out get-togethers we had at my grandma’s house growing up. Neighbors and family chatting at picnic tables, the plethora of side dishes scattered on the counters, and kids running amuck… all the stuff my childhood is made up of.  I always wanted that for me and my family, too. Effortless gatherings filled with a sort of balanced chaos that only OUR family/friends understood and appreciated. Home. Home is where I’m surrounded by all the good things and people I love… I have to say that it really felt like home. And I enjoy entertaining/hosting things like that, too. #homeiswhereverimwithyou

~I watched a couple movies this weekend (per Jan): Road Warrior and Mad Max Beyond Thunderdome. I just want to say that anyone who says, “Road Warrior is better than Thunderdome” needs to RE-WATCH it. RW was hilariously awful. Mel Gibson probably said 20 words the whole movie, and when there was dialog, it was dull/made no sense/poorly written. The action sequences were alright (not better than Thunderdome, duh), but the best thing about the movie were the bad guys and their leader. Lord Humongous and his leather-clad, nambla gang were everything. Their wardrobe and scenes made the movie. Thunderdome was better all around. With characters like Master Blaster, Aunt Entity (TINA TURNER) and a brood of wild children, it is clearly the better movie. #notawasteoftimereally I won’t go into detail for those who haven’t watched it and want to, but I will say that you really don’t need to see Road Warrior to enjoy/understand Thunderdome. I’m looking forward to seeing the new one in theaters w/ Janny Boy (that is, if baby decides to stay put a little longer).

And so that brings us to today. A gorgeous Monday in the neighborhood. My lawn is freshly mowed (thanks, bae), my floors are clean, and my dog is sleeping. A nice, quiet morning thus far #cantcomplain I think I might go for a walk before Oliver gets home. Or go see what Jay is up to. Or bake cookies. Or I could nap… SO MANY CHOICES!

I’m hoping the next time you see a blog post from me I will have a little baby to write about. 🙂

 

 

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Being a winner makes me sweaty

I can recall only a few times in my life where I was a winner of something. Like the time I bought a scratch ticket at a janky gas station near Marshall, IL, and instantly won $500. Or the time I went to Chicago with a bachelorette party and met the man of my dreams (CHA-CHING!). Those moments had me like Magic So when MY name was drawn from a hat to win a GLORIOUS diaper bag full of marvelous prizes, I was totes like YayHyperbole And when my name was read as the “WINNER,” I instantly started sweating (and nearly cried) because #HORMONAL? The goodie bag was from/put together by my prenatal yoga instructor, the lovely Roberta. (to see a photo of the bag and it’s treats, visit my Instagram page)

Oliver has not been winning lately. Last week, he’d gotten into trouble at school which rendered him video game-less, tablet-less, and grounded. He was having behavioral issues, ones we’ve discussed before at length, and I decided it was time to take away the electronics until further notice. He seems to have taken the punishment well, and has actually turned to other activities instead (biking, riding his scooter, outside things, and Legos) which makes me one happy parent. Not to mention, he’s been playing really WELL in soccer #proudmom

Sunday was our last installment of child prep classes by CHAR. I know Jan was real sad about it. I have to say, the classes were slightly less cheesy than I anticipated. Slow dancing and encouraging whispers aside, the information provided was SUPER helpful. It was more than a refresher course for me, because I honestly forgot about lots of things labor-wise and procedure-wise. And Jan even admitted to learning a thing or two 🙂

As we round the 36-weeks mark, I can’t help but wonder and think about what Frank will look like. Will he have dark hairs all over his head? Will he have chubby cheeks? Will he be just the DARLINGEST baby of EVER? Yes. Yes to all things adorable. I’ve been feeling a lot of “prep” contractions, and also feel him dwelling rather low these days. I also can’t contain my urges to clean and ready the house and yard, so nesting is in full effect. Now, we just wait it out!

I’ve been given a list of movies/tv shows to slide in my watch cue while I’m home. Parenthood, The Mindy Project, a ton of Netflix movies, and Orange is the New Black (when it comes out). I think people assume because I am now a SAHM, I have tons of extra time on my hands, when I actually have very little “extra” time. Between caring for Odin (who is on a few different drugs currently- treating an eye infection), the cats, laundry, floors, and other chores/errands, I literally don’t sit down until after I get Oliver from school. Which is when I typically would be getting home if I were still working at North. Nesting isn’t helping the whole “relaxing” vibes, either. I am constantly finding new things that need cleaning/projects to do. cleanallthings

 

And when I get too tired from cleaning, and I actually get the chance to sit down, all I want to do is eat/snack and watch old episodes of It’s Always Sunny. #DERPmarshmallow25

BUT! Aside from my urges to clean and run all the errands, being a SAHM is just lovely. I really LOVE being in my house and doing things. I get such a sense of accomplishment when I complete a task. And I LOVE making myself a cup of tea, sitting on my patio in the late morning and watching the yard critters run around…such a sap, but you’d love it too if you saw my backyard in the mornings 🙂

I’ll keep everyone informed about baby happenings, so don’t fret! Right now, Jan, Ollie and I are going to see the new Avengers movie in 3D #bejelly

CIAO~ xo

 

PS: Images were taken from Hyperbole and a Half– if you haven’t read the book, or seen the site, PLEASE DO bc HILARIOUS and TRUE TRUE.

34 weeks pregnant feels like 40 weeks pregnant.

Some current stats on zeh pregnancy~

Good thoughts/happenings: This time next month, I could be blogging about my BABY instead of my pregnancy 🙂
Complaints/worries: Extremely difficult finding a comfy position for sleeping/not sleeping well (which leads to cranky mornings). Worried I will go into labor early.
CravingsRaisin Bran w/blueberries, deli sandwiches, and Drumstick ice cream cones
Weight gain: 28 actual lbs, 150 feels-like lbs
Stretch marks: nope. Just a lot of tiny skin tags (gross)
Days til due date: 41
Number of clothing I own that I can fit into: 5

boom.

I do have a few things still to rant about. Worries. Worrying is something that I do too often and wish I could stop doing. And I am seriously NOT a worrier. This whole “stressed-out/ moody” me is totally pregnancy induced. I worry about my Oliver and how he will handle being a brother. I worry about Jan and how he will handle EVERYTHING. I worry about the birth & hope it goes smoothly/as planned. I worry about being swarmed with too much right after the baby is born. I think a lot about how it will be when baby Frank is home, and I’ll admit I get nervous about it. What will Ollie and Jan think of the new sleep-deprived, seemingly absent mommy who ‘only’ shows baby attention? How will they handle it emotionally, and will it all BE OKAY? #magic8ballsaysaskagainlater

In the last 2 weeks, I have definitely lost a lot of what little energies I had left. By the end of the day (for me, is like 5-6pm), I am ready to lay in my cloud bed with my feet up. Ollie notices. Jan notices. And I truly feel bad for being tired a lot and/or not being able to walk or stand for more than 20 min. It is becoming my reasoning for outbursts and not watching tv shows, but I don’t think the boys fully understand. They just think I “don’t want to hang out” with them and that makes me feel terrible, and I try explaining but they don’t get it so I get more irritable (DO YOU GET WHY I AM MOODY AND EXHAUSTED YET?). Oliver will make remarks when activities are brought up (like biking or playing sports with him) and say things like, “Oh yeah I forgot you can’t do that because you are pregnant.” And then when I try jogging after him when we are crossing the street or rushing to the car in a parking lot, he yells at me, “Mommy, don’t rush! You are pregnant!” So, it is sweet, but I hate being this “sit on the sidelines” kind of mum. And I know it will be like this for a while after baby is here, too. It is just so hard explaining the “why” to a 7-year old (no matter how independent he may seem). It isn’t any easier explaining the “why” to a 31-year old, either. Trust me. I feel the most guilt from ditching out on couch time with Janny boy (because couch time/tv show-watching time is usually the only time we get to spend by ourselves/together, once Ollie is in bed).  Now, add in Frank. A needy newborn who has a crazy sleep schedule and can be soothed by mum’s milk and/or rocking. Kind of cuts back on time I normally spend with my [current] guys. Jan’s mom made the comment “let the competition for Ash’s attention begin!” And I can only imagine how this “competition” will pan out. I am hoping for the BEST and wishing for the SUPER BEST.

Overthinking is the biggest cause of our unhappiness. Keep yourself occupied. Keep your mind off things that don’t help you. Be optimistic. – Anonymous

Thinking more on the upbeat ~ babies are wonderful! The thought of meeting my son fills my heart to the brim, and I know he will light up our family’s lives! Jan being a daddy (for reals), and imagining him holding a tiny mini-him gives me butterflies #notgasipromise
Baby Frank will learn all the things from his big bro, Ollie, and the two of them will be inseparable. I know the first couple months will be rough, but our family is strong! *cue triumphant, WINNING music*

Our next check up is the 30th, and I have to go in for ANOTHER blood draw before then. Doc is checking on my blood sugar again. Not looking forward to that. Damn blood suckers.

Jan and I have attended 2/4 child prep classes now, and I really feel the info (however corny some of the classes may be) is rather helpful. Next week, we get to tour the birthing floor! I have my hospital bag packed and by the front door, too. WE ARE READY(-ish)!

PS: This Friday is my last day at work… I AM ALMOST A REAL STAY-AT-HOME-MOM AND I AM THRILLED!

I leave you w/this:

family photo times

Parenting Woes & Showering Baby Frank

‘Ello, ‘ello. Let’s get all the things up to date, shall we?

So, last Monday Oliver was super sick. I kept him from school because he said his stomach hurt and he wasn’t hungry (which was unusual in itself, because he always eats breakfast). He was tired and slept the whole day. Then around 3pm he starts crying and screaming, holding his stomach. Jan was home because he’d just flown back from Las Vegas that morning, so we kept asking where it hurt. I touched on his abdomen and he freaked out. I have never seen him in that kind of pain. So…I loaded him in the car and went to the ER. Poor thing was writhing in pain, and the nurses checked us in and got a room for him. They put an IV in his arm, which was more unpleasant than anything ever, and gave him morphine for the pain (I know…morphine seemed a bit extreme to me, too, but I guess they do that). We waited around for a while. Oliver looked so pitiful and sad, and kept saying things like “I’m scared, Mommy” and “I don’t want anything bad to happen to me” which broke my soul into a million little pieces. Thank god Jan was there to comfort ME and lighten Ollie’s mood. Jan was making Ollie laugh with jokes about which “belly jelly” the nurse will use for his ultrasound. They took my loopy Oliver back to get an ultrasound. Ollie made some cute remarks to the tech about “blueberry jelly” and told her it was ok when she pushed on his tummy because she’s “gotta do what she’s gotta do”…adorbs. They found nothing on the ultrasound, and gave us the option for a CT scan. I am terrified at this point. They were thinking it was his appendix this whole time, but couldn’t seem to locate it. So, I signed the paperwork for the scan (what else was I to do?), and in Ollie went.

smiling once we were told we could go home

He called it a “donut space ship” 🙂 The results from that weren’t helpful, either. By this time, Oliver had to have another IV put in his other arm because the 1st one “blew out” and was filling his skin with saline stuff- this was terrifying because I could see the pocket under his skin filling up and he was screaming and the nurses were TOO SLOW but I couldn’t touch anything! Eventually, we got passed that though. The doc came back in (this would be around hour 6), and told us it might just be constipation and we could go home. #RAGING
Since then, Ollie has had a follow up appointment with his pediatrician. She said it was a stomach virus that has been going around, and to keep him hydrated while it passes through his system. What a way to start that week. Oliver is doing much better, and I’m just glad it wasn’t anything serious!

32 weeks, y’all

I, also, went to the doctor last week. Just my regular OB check up- weight (188 lb), belly measured, heartbeat heard, next appt scheduled. I’m 32 weeks and 2 days now! Baby Frank is growing big, and moving around in there ALL DAY LONG. It feels like he’s rolling, and looks like waves on my skin. So neat! Neatness aside, I feel huge (nothing new) and find myself short of breath alllllll the time. Walking up/down stairs: panting like I ran a marathon. Getting up and out of bed in the morning: embarrassingly difficult. My hunger levels are wild, and at any given point in my day you will see me eating something. I still want to do normal tasks (yard work, house stuff, etc), but the whole baby-in-my-diaphragm thing kind of makes “work” (of any kind) impossible. Five weeks til I’m full term, and baby Frank can’t get here soon enough!
Over this last weekend, Whit and Cassie threw a lovely little baby shower for me! It was adorable and fun and perfect! They had a POSH party slash shower- and for those who haven’t heard of POSH, please check it out #sofun The decorations, the setting, the FOOD, the girly stuff, the game/gifts… all of it was super. And I am one grateful momma!

Grandma Jos (Jan’s mum), Cassie, Sheri, ME, Riss, Whit & Cindy

the spread 🙂

The guest list was small, but so’s my “list” of friends. Everyone who came knew how much it meant, and I’m so thankful to have people in my life who care about me/this baby the way they do. Especially Whit and Cassie. Those ladies get me 🙂  Pretty soon, they will have a wee one to dote on and shower with lovies!

That’s my tummy! On Roberta’s business cards!

My schedule has been kind of jammed full these days. Between Oliver’s activities (piano, gymnastics, soccer practice and games), prenatal yoga (can’t leave that out!), my doctor’s appointments, and this child prep class Jan and I have coming up, there’s gonna be a lot to do before Frank arrives! I think it will help the time pass by quickly. Yoga is still a part of this pregnancy- even though my endurance/ability to breathe has left. I can do standing poses and transitions ok, but others are getting trickier. Downward dog and child’s pose have to be done with a much wider stance to accommodate belly. And stretching my hips feels amazing, but (again!) bigger belly means alterations. I really look forward to my weekly prenatal classes at Indigo, because it is like a little club I am in. And we are all showing off our bellies and moves! I’m curious how many more classes I will make it to!

In other news- my last day at work is approaching. I have 12 1/2 [working] days to go, and am scrambling to get my caseload and kids in order before I leave. It will be a change being home, but it is one that I welcome with open bird arms. I’m ready to begin this new adventure with my baby~

It’s the FINAL COUNTDOWN!!

Week 30 is here and on its way out, so that means we are counting down into single-digit weeks, people! Franky Boy is gearing up and putting on the chubby-cheek pounds for his big debut! I did have that second glucose screening a couple weeks ago and ALL WAS WELL (yay!) #tinyvictories I had to go in to the lab first thing in the morning to have my blood drawn because they want you to fast for 12 hours (ugh), which turns into 15-16 hours once all the blood draws are done (UGHHHH). It wasn’t too bad, but I was SO hungry when I got out of there that my hands were shaking. BUT! Those results were normal, so I don’t know why my first test was so “elevated”…

Anyway~ third trimester happenings: I weigh 186 lbs now (total weight gained=23 lbs). I’ve been craving sweets but only immediately after eating something salty. I feel way huge, like, it is a struggle sitting up out of bed every morning. I can’t really do ANYTHING without being short of breath, and baby is moving/kicking me all over in there making it trickier to do anything really.   The nursery is ready except for a few items! I’ve received several baby gifts from some very lovely friends/fam so far, and it REALLY is so appreciated. I still have us registered at Target for those reading this and wanting to buy a gift! I have another check-up appointment next Thursday afternoon, and I think I’ll ask about an ultrasound. I think he said he would do one to make sure the baby is in the correct position, but I don’t know for sure when or if that will happen.

nursery is coming along nicely!

I am still working here at North High with my lovely caseload of students. I really love what I do here, and will miss it when I have to leave. This is one of the most unstressful, rewarding jobs I’ve had, and I’ve only got about 20 working days left before I finish! There are a couple students (and a teacher or two) who have told me that I’m “not allowed” to leave, which makes me happy and sad at the same time. I know they appreciate me, and I’m guessing they will miss me when I’m gone…

we R so kewt

Speaking of MISSING people! My Janny Boy is back home FINALLY! He was in Kansas for 3 weeks on business (bc he is awesome and in charge of shit), but is home now. I missed him oodles upon boatloads!! Yeah, yeah I know you all thoroughly enjoy reading my mushies and whatnot. Jan is the best and I love him and happy and kisses and marriage and omg we are having a real baby soon and HECANNEVERLEAVEAGAIN4E!

Spring Break (said in my James Franco voice) came and went ,as well. My MUM and SISTER came here to visit Ollie and I for several days, and it was just SO GOOD~

IOWA FAMILY VISIT, Spring 2015!

shopping day!

sister sister💕👏

My dear sister, Lou, drove up from Colorado (a tedious 13-hr drive) last Tuesday & Mum flew in the following morning. AND SO OUR REUNION VISIT BEGAN! T’was so marvelous and lovely having them here. Lou had been here once before, but this was Momma’s first time to the wonderful city of Davenport. She met Jan’s folks over lunchies one afternoon. I gave her the GRAND tour at the “Linnberg Mansion” after we ate, and then we sat around and chatted about this and that. She had nothing but nice things to say about it #duh. I just realized we didn’t take a photo of them together! Grr. Will have to do so when she comes back in a couple months! Anyway, Lou and Oliver were pretty much inseparable the entire time. Oliver is a Lou hog. And I’m pretty sure she’s had enough of Beyblade battles- especially since Ollie insisted on changing the rules so he’d win everytime! We did get some movie time, Whitey’s & Happy Joe’s Pizza, and lots of slugging around in while they were here. Friday, we went shopping for baby things 🙂 Ma is already spoiling her grandson! Jeff and Whit stopped by briefly one night and got to meet my ma. That was nice of them! Jan came back Friday night and was able to spend a little time with everyone before they had to leave. After Lou left Saturday morning, Jan went to help our bff’s move into their new house (A WHOLE OTHER EXCITING THING THAT HAPPENED #YAY). Mom, Ollie and I ventured out to see the town a bit. It was warmer that morning, so I drove down by the river and took Ma to the Farmer’s Market. I explained how big and awesomely fun it gets in the summer time (because right now there aren’t too many vendors and a LOT less people), but she did get to see/hear an older gentleman playing his cello on the stage for a bit. Which was so cool, by the way. He was playing it sideways, and was really good at it.  We went to lunchies at 11th Street in the East Village. So, so yummy. After the running around, we came back home to chill and stuff. Momma packed up her things and got ready for the flight back to Florida. Jan did come home in time to say goodbye to her, and I drove her to the airport. It is always less fun hugging goodbye, BUT it wasn’t that bad this time because we knew we would see each other VERY soon. I mean, this baby is coming in like, 2 months!

I’ve been wondering about how Oliver will handle Frank. I’m sure it will all turn out fine, but I get a little strange worry-like feeling sometimes thinking about it. “Ollie, this is Frank. You are a big brother now!” and I can see him being pumped about it, but also not wanting to hold or be around him at first. Not sure if it’s because he is an only child and he won’t be soon, or if it’s because he is a kid and kids don’t typically love babies. Hell, some adults don’t love babies, so I don’t really expect him to fall in love with Frank immediately. I don’t want him to feel neglected, and have explained to him how infants need a lot of mommy’s attention. I’ve talked about how that doesn’t mean I am going to ignore him purposefully, and that he is still my Ollie forever and ever…but no parent can really fully prepare their first born for his/her sibling. I need to think up some possible ideas for celebrating Oliver when Frank is born (because I think that will make it more fun for him). Like, bake him a big brother cake or get him gifts or both!

M A R R I A G E

And ANOTHER happy/celebratory thing that happened***** ———->

Jan’s older bro, BJ, (FINALLY) got hitched to his darling lady this week! I, obviously, couldn’t make it to their ceremony in the MOUNTAINS, but I am still so thrilled for them. And don’t they look DASHING!? Gah.. can’t wait to see them and hugs them when they come visit this summer 🙂

**Until next post!**

XO

THE LAST MELON

“You know you’re in your third trimester when you drop something on the floor and walk away muttering fuck it.” #realtalk

As I am nearing the 29-week mark in the third trimester: Feeling the baby move around all day…he feels giant-sized. I feel him rolling and hiccuping and twitching. My tummy is stretched tight, nausea has creeped back in (along with headaches), I’m having occasional contractions (nothing I’m concerned about yet), and my back hurts quite a lot. Aside from those symptoms, things are fine. Oliver is still just as sweet as ever about meeting his brother, and I’m trying to capture as many moments as I can. 

taken today… Oliver was feeling Frank move



I haven’t been craving anything weird (that I can think of). I do have to retake a glucose blood test this week due to my first one’s results being “elevated”, but I’m not that worried about it. I mean, when I was first told I needed to take the longer test, I kind of hyperventilated slightly only to be calmed down later by my Jan. so.. We will see what those results say. Hopefully I will still be able to eat Whitey’s ice cream.Baby will be here soon enough, anyway. I’m thinking Franky Boy might be born prior to his due date. Not terribly early- maybe a couple weeks. I’m thinking the week of May 11th… but that is just me. And I can’t even trust my “feeling” because I remember having strong feelings that this baby was a girl…and we know how wrong I was on that one. 

 Speaking of feelings ~~ Jan and I have a certain JANIVERSARY coming up this week! Four wondrous years of romance and mushies have gone by, and I couldn’t be more in love. I have been perusing all the photos of us…all the wildly fun memories and adventures…gives me butterflies still #goosechill #teamJan4e #powercouple 





So yeah… We have a lot of memories and photos of us being us… And I’m looking forward to forever many more. 

Ps! AAAND today marks my “yogaversary” at Indigo! A year ago today, I joined their team, and have been going and loving my practice ever since. I actually think my very first attempt at yoga was with my friend, Larissa, in January of 2014, but March was when I became avid. So, YAY for me! And YAY for yoga! Appropriately enough…today I got to model in a fancy “prenatal yoga” photo shoot at Tapas across the river! I’m looking forward to seeing the results, and also VERY happy that I was even asked to be a part of such fun.

Quality Time

A few days ago, I freaked out. I can blog about this now, because luckily, nothing was wrong. I first noticed a lack of movement after lunch Friday- normally, baby Frank goes nuts after meals. However, that particular day and that particular meal- nothing. I tried not to dwell/moved on until I got home after work. The car ride home, sitting at Jay’s with Ollie, laying in bed eating chocolate, even busting out my guitar and serenading Franky Boy…nothing. Not a flip or flutter. So I did what everyone does but knows they shouldn’t do: I googled it. Stupid internet. I panicked. A lot. I read article after forum after WebMD until Jan got home, and by that point I’d already called my doctor. Jan calmed me down and talked to the tummy (he said he felt a kick, but I didn’t feel anything). My doctor called back and asked that I head over to the emergency room. Jan convinced me I should go (THANK YOU, DARLING), and we checked in around 8pm. They hooked my belly up to two round monitor things- one for Frank’s heartbeat and one for his movements. The nurses were just lovely, by the way. So caring and just..mom-like. They eased my mind and told me to always come with any questions or “gut feelings” like this. Made me feel less crazy. Wouldn’t you know?? As soon as she started up that machine, Frank was all, “HEY! I’M IN HERE AND I LOVE TO PARTY!” Stubborn already… So, I laid there all strapped up while they took a 20-minute reading of all the movements/heartbeats, and Jan sat in a chair trying to read. It was difficult not to notice the woman going into labor in the next room over. She was moaning and groaning and telling someone to “get away” and “don’t talk to me” – you know, normal mid-contraction talk. Jan mentioned he was taking notes (“…this wasn’t a wasted trip at all…I’m learning to just keep my mouth shut!”), and made being in a hospital less stressful. Again, THANK YOU, DARLING. We checked out- baby was fine, and my mind was at ease.

random photo: chilled out Saturday (new candle!)

PROOF: I mingled and went to a bar at 7 months pregnant! (also, Jan and I are like, super attractive and cool)

Saturday, after going shopping for Cassie’s birthday gifts (and a few things for moi), Jan and I snugged around the house, did some chores, walked the dog, got groceries, and snugged some more until it was time to go to Cass’s bday dinz (Oliver stayed with Jay&Jos). Dinner at Los Portales was hilarious. Bad service, good friends. We had a table of 10 people, and the place was packed. Service was shit because our server had like, half the restaurant to wait on. Also, getting our orders/bills correct seemed to be a difficult task. We laughed it off, though. I love hanging out with that gang. I even had a [virgin] strawberry daiquiri bc IM SO BADASS. After eats, we ventured down to the East Village to Grumpy’s for more hangs. I went along because I wasn’t terribly sleepy, and I wanted to spend more time with frandz. It’s not every weekend this pregnant lady gets out! I’m glad I went, too. Though, I must say, I don’t know if it’s my being pregnant or sober or old, but bars just seem less fun and more dirty. Maybe it was just that bar. Maybe it is just my pregnancy sobriety. Nonetheless, it was nice spending time and chatting with the girls and dudes. Plus! I was NEEDED to take photos of the night (because, if you didn’t know by now, I am the only one in our group who ever takes photos of things). Also, I’d like to think I am still fun to be around- with or without being smashed. #amiright?

Sunday, Whitney and I cooked a yummy pancake & bacon breakfast for the fam over at Jay&Josie’s. Whit, Jeff, Jan, Ollie, Jay, Jos and even Odin had some quality hangs. It was nice sitting at their giant table and eating, talking, etc. Whit and Jeff left, and we went home to relax a bit more. I must say… I am one lucky woman to be surrounded by such great love. Ollie and Jan (and all the animals) really make my life wonderful. Maybe it’s my hormones, but I have just felt so mushy about it all. Especially my bae boo, Jan. I love him wholly, and can’t imagine my life without him in it. He treats me like a queen (with respect and love and appreciation, and maybe a skosh of fear that I’ll “off with his head” or something). He’s just everything I want and need. AND HE’S MINE #maniacallaugh

my little philosopher ❤

The other day, I was talking about baby stuff with Oliver, and he had some fun questions. “How many babies can someone pop out of them?” He said, “I know I popped out of you, and baby Frank is going to pop out, too. But how many babies can you make?” I just love his way of thinking about everything #sweetest I explained that it is a surprise! And told him that some women have 10 kids! He was pretty blown away with that one. I told him that I will probably have 1 or 2 more babies after Frank comes, and that I’m hoping for a girl next. I told him he would love a sister, and asked how nice it would be if there were another lady in the house. He started to say something, and then stopped himself so I pressed for him to speak. “Oh…well, I was just wondering if she would be pretty.” I could have scooped him up and kissed him! How cute!? I assured him, “Of COURSE she will be pretty! Look at you! Look at your mommy!” He’s been asking a lot of new questions about life and such lately. I walked in on him sitting on the floor near the bottom of his bed one day- just staring at his bookshelf. I asked what he was doing, and he said something like, “Just thinking about the biggest questions. Like, how did the earth get made and what is life and all…” Yeah. I know. He’s such a thinker. Lord knows what types of questions he will come up with once he becomes a big brother. I am so looking forward to it, though.

Today, I am staying home with Ollie and animals because my car and the roads/sidewalks are covered with a thick sheet of ice. School was given a 2-hour late start and all, but the weather is just too scary for me. With my luck, I’d slip walking down my front porch steps.

Odin- being adorable and slothsluggy #puddleface

Plus, Odin hasn’t been feeling well (following me around after he threw up outside this morning), and I need to be a good dog mom. But mostly because there’s ice e’rywhere. Though, I wonder if I sent my boss this photo (->) of Odin, she would just excuse me forever bc he looks so damn pitiful.

ANYway. This week should go by quickly enough. Ollie had piano lessons last night, has gymnastics tomorrow night, and I have yoga Thursday night. AND THEN I WILL BE IN MY THIRD TRIMESTER! This pregnancy is nearing it’s end, and I am just now starting to like my giant buddha belly. Although, I will admit, even though I’ve done the whole pregnant thing before, it baffles me that my body can change this much. My skin feels so tight (especially near my ribs and tummy *duh), my calves are crampy, my belly feels super low down and droopy, and my pants feel too tight always. I still have 10+ weeks of this #yay! I shouldn’t complain too much, though. All smiles over here…

AND SELFIE #fin

Sick week, quick post.

Just when I thought I had made it through the winter without getting the flu, BAM. Flu bomb goes off causing all kinds of mayhem. I wasn’t terribly concerned Monday when I felt nauseous at work (after all, pregnant), but when I threw up and the pain in my gut became more unbearable over a period of 2 hours, I went home. It wasn’t long after I was curled up on my bed that I felt that ole familiar chill- the god damn flu got me. Achy bones, paralyzing nausea, cold and hot at the same time- yep, I had all the symptoms. I called my doctor’s nurse, who had me sipping fluids and resting as much as possible. I didn’t really eat much until Wednesday night. FYI to all you pregnant ladies~ if you get the flu and are having any of these issues, you need to get in to the doctor asap: unable to keep fluids down, have any spotting, or don’t feel baby moving. Luckily, I made it through the really bad days, and am feeling pretty normal today. Last night, I was worried I might have given my illness to Oliver. He was complaining his head hurt, was fussing with a runny nose and had that sick look in his eyes. He even cried himself to sleep (saying his head was hurting so bad). But luckily, this  morning he woke up and was better. I kept him home from school to make sure- brought him breakfast in bed, and had him drink lots of water and rest. We colored pictures for our family, and even had a little Skype date with Aunt Woolou! #yay

In other newssss, as we approach our 27th week of pregnancy, Jan and I have finally come to an agreement on a name for our baby boy!

Frank Linnberg, it is!

Still working on a middle name, but Frank sure is gonna be one loved bundle of joy 🙂 And for those who follow me on Instagram, I’m sure you know me well enough to know your feeds shall be blown by all the baby photos. #noapologies

Happy feels good

things that make me happier:

good hair days
banana chocolate chip muffins
kisses/lovey hellos&goodbyes from Janny Boy
pants that aren’t too tight/too loose
starting a new journal (so crisp~)
funny snapchats from Jess
a good morning mix (currently playing: siriusXMU radio)
YOGA

And today is a good-mood kind of day. Thursdays are usually good because the middle of the week is over-onward to the weekend, AND I have yoga w/ Roberta and the other preggo ladies (which is a perk in my week).

Last week was not-so-goodfeeltimes, because I was having “crampy” issues and was at the doctor/off work a few days. Turned out alright, and yes, I’ll admit Jan was right– Doc said I need to “take it easy”. Apparently, being pregnant means you’re not supposed to do manual labor/strain yourself or get overly stressed (ie: shovel snow, lift/carry heavy objects up and down stairs, worry about all the things, etc). The pain I was having was in my lower, left abdomen and sometimes on both lower sides. Doc said that it was either ligament pain from my insides/outsides stretching to giant size, overworking my body, and/or stress. I have to coach myself out of dwelling on worrisome thoughts. But it is difficult…My mind goes on and on: is Ollie getting enough of my attention? Does the dog hate me? Did I switch laundry? I shouldn’t have snapped and yelled like that. I apologize all the time. Everyone thinks I’m always mad. Am I a downer now? Am I the worst? Does this baby think I am crazy? I need to nap, but there are dishes in the sink. I should read more books. The house is filthy- I need to vacuum, mop, paint, clean CLEAN. My house is forever unclean…
See? I am exhausting.

At prenatal yoga last week, we discussed obsessive thoughts. #APPROPRIATE
Every single woman in that class has the same/similar worries as I do! It was so uplifting to feel like I fit in (which, duh, we are all pregnant and hormonal so #besties). And it was such a relief, too. Finally…someone GETS it. And having this invisible weight lifted from my mind (the one marked “CRAZY LADY”) was l i b e r a t i n g. I feel lighter (which, for a woman who is nearing the 3rd trimester, feels lovely). I feel I can focus more on things that actually matter, like being happy and growing this baby, and easily dismiss stressful thoughts. All of these happy feels thanks to a small group of pregnant ladies who made me feel less like a schizophrenic and more like a strong, capable, miracle-growing woman. I recommend any pregnant woman to join in with another pregnant woman/women for chit chats and motivation and happy thoughts. Because for a lady like myself, surrounded by boys, having that support, camaraderie and input really, REALLY helps.

SEW (buttons) ~> aside from this week’s bitter cold weather, I can not complain. Life is good. Jan and Ollie are good (Oliver is having a WAY better week than last week). And food is good.

PS: Chinese New Year prediction for yours truly…

OX
1925, 1937, 1949, 1961, 1973, 1985, 1997, 2009
It may seem to some as if nothing ever bothers you but that just shows what great self-control you possess. But when romance comes knocking this year — and it will — your emotions are likely to go haywire. Once your affections have been engaged there can be no turning back — the Ox mates for life. (-TRUEEEEE)

General prediction: 1/5 stars

Overview: Unexpected outcomes.

It isn’t a very wonderful year for those born under the zodiac sign of Bull, as you may meet some difficulties in almost all aspects of your life. However, you have to keep your spirits up, and be cautious when it comes to decision-making. As the saying goes, slow and steady wins the race: this how you should take on the year. Be careful of what you say or post online, it might trigger unnecessary altercations. As long as you take a positive approach, this seemingly bad year can be reasonably stable for you too. (-thinking positive, guys!!!!)

Love and relationships: 3/5 stars

Cupid is looking in your direction and single Bulls will meet many potential lovers. However, it may also be a headache when too many of them appear at the same time. Be responsible and careful when dealing with them. For those who are attached, your relationship will be tested. Hold on to the trust and confidence you have in your partner, for this will be to key to overcome any obstacles in your relationship (Janny Boy is my ROCK*). Married Bulls, be extra careful. There might be a third party attempting to interfere with your marriage, but be smart in handling the situation and avoid cold wars with your spouse. Communicate with your partner and your marriage will be fine in your own hands.

hold on chick: bumpy ride ahead
Plump!

IMG_6183 BUMPIE … & my boys- “pancakes with Pop” at Ollie’s school

Mo’ belly, mo’ problems (updates, etc)

This entry is going to be in list form becauseIsaidso:

  • Ultrasound last week
    *photos below

    • At our last ultrasound, we were told/shown that I had a slight placental previa (where the placenta covers the cervix). Mine wasn’t too bad, but it still freaked me out. This ultrasound was mainly to check up on the issue. AND it corrected itself/moved away from my cervix,, so ALL IS WELL! Baby is healthy, and moving around like crazy!
    • Contractions…I’d been experiencing minor ones lately due to stress and possible overexertion. They can also be caused by dehydration, but since I drink boatloads of water, I deduced it was happening because of other things. The doctor advised I take it easier/relax, which is the obvious solution. Easier said than done, but I am working on it #forbabyssake
  • Compromising
    • Socially, Jan and I have always been pretty out there. We love to go out/be around people and live it up. Given my current “condition”, things have drastically changed*mainly for me. Being the dad in this has its responsibilities and whatnot, and I’m not talking bad or down on Jan- but! There needed to be a conversation and agreement about spending time “out” because I am physically (and most times mentally) unable to partake in once-loved social times. Mainly, I needed to express how unfair it felt that I was sacrificing all the things, while (SEEMINGLY) he did nothing different. We ended on good notes, I think, and because we both love each other (him a bit more bc he’s dealing with Ashzilla over here) we figured it out. Not just on one front (ex:going out every weekend), but on all (house/animal/Ollie responsibilities). I am thankful and RELIEVED we worked it out, and hope Jan isn’t just agreeing with everything I suggest/say because he is scared of me and my hormones. #TEAMJAN4E #LOVEYOUJANNYBOY
  • Oliver
    • Ollie has gotten involved in lots of activities – which is wonderful! He is now in gymnastics, basketball/soccer (soon after basketball), and piano. I think keeping him occupied and involved in things is so good and helpful for him- socially and educationally. AND he loves it.
    • “There’s a lot of attitudes going on around here…don’t let me get one.” *   Lately, and some days, he’s been rather grouchy in the mornings. And then there are times when he’s just rude to us or others. I’ve spoken with him several times about respect and behavior, and I feel it gets through, but then he does something cocky and I’m like “DUDE NO!” I think some of this has to do with him playing video games too much. Even though he only gets 20 minutes a day on either his tablet or the xbox, I feel that is all he wants to talk about. And he is missing out on conversations with everyone. So, I took the games and tablet away completely (this week is the first week of the test). I’m hoping by doing so, and adding in more hands-on/talking time, he will be better behaved. #UGHparenting
  • Jan’s birthday (see photos below!)
    • I was kind of stressed about his birthday. Because, does not planning a “bar crawl” party thing make me a bad gf? IDK. I think part of his agreeing with my decision to keep the celebration “chill” was because of our “compromise convo” and not bc he wanted to. BUT..oh well, I guess. I think the night went well, and I think everyone had a fun time. I probably put lots of unnecessary stress on myself for nothing #typical. At least he liked the gifts I gave him (?).
  • Belly probs (photos beeeelow)
    • Giant-sized issues, ya’ll. And I still have 3 months left. I can’t bend over without catching my balance. I’ve got trouble getting up once I’ve sat down. There is this overall uncomfortableness that I totally forgot about, and THE STRUGGLE IS REAL. There is no hustle in me- the hustle have left. My clothes really don’t fit, and I just feel…large. More students at school have noticed/said things to me, and more people I see often, too. Yeah, I’m pregnant. No, you can’t feel.
    • Another worry/issue: stretch marks and lotions. I apply liberal amounts of ALL the lotions multiple times a day. I apply to belly, thighs, booty and boobs. Yet, I’m still paranoid I will end up some wrinkly ol lady after all this. Maybe I will! No more bikinis? Oye…you know what, F it. If I end up stretched out/marked up, people will just need to deal with it. #bikinis4e You try having kids and looking like a Kardashian…I DARE YOU! #noairbrushing
  • Changes
    • Appetite: I have been craving a variety of foods. From ice cream to sweet potatoes, I want all the flavors. One bonus/plus is that I do drink oodles of water, and continue eating light snacks throughout the day. #somewhathealthy
    • Yoga movements/poses: Duh. We knew these were constantly changing. I make adjustments all the time, and will continue to do so. #lovemypractice
    • Energy levels: looooow. I feel most energetic in the morning til about 11am. Then I’m all, “beep boop bowww” shut down mode. I wish I could nap everyday…you think my boss would mind?
  • Wants
    • Massage/pedicure/ facial #SPAday. There isn’t much time or energy to do things I would like to do, but it’s good I have a list. I’ll get to them eventually 🙂

 

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weight tracking from 1st doctor appt to latest

Today, I got to spend time with me (I haven’t been feeling well, and took the day off work). Also, got to see me some Ro&Shandra so that was a super perk. Evening plans include making BLTs for dinner, getting Ollie a bath, and watching Netflix in bed. Kind of the new “#TTT” for me, ad I love it. Jess would appreciate it, too. SPEAKING OF! JESSSSS- I know you’re reading this, and I just want to say ERMERGHERD I MISS YOU. Also, come live with me already.

XO

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Baby Linnberg at 6 months

 

Processed with VSCOcam with p5 preset

there’s a baby…right. in. there.

 

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Twins being twins (31st bday desserts)

 

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Janny Boy opening his gifts #birthdayboy

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new shirt (might get 2 wears outta it before the buttons pop off)