As most of you know, Jan is in Afghanistan till March. You know, saving the world and being beautiful and flirting with women in burkas. So this leaves myself, Ollie, Frank, Odin and 3 cats to tend to the house and each other for 6 months. After 2 weeks and 2 days, I can honestly say that this isn’t my ideal situation. I mean, I’ve had bouts of crying, eating, drinking, hiding in the bathroom, sleeplessness, depression, hysterics, denial, and fake smiling. I’ve also cried into my cat more than once. Literally. I put my face on Dennis’s body and sobbed..and you know what? It made me feel equally psychotic and relieved. And Dennis doesn’t seem to mind. I knew all these things would arise. I’d feel all the feels and have struggles maintaining the kids and house and chores and whatnot. It really helps that many of my lovely friends have reached out to help…seriously! It doesn’t go unnoticed, and I will (eventually, if not already) take you up on the offer. Whether it’s babysitting while I shower/get a manicure, or cooking dinner for us, or just being an ear to vent to- I truly love all of you for the support. It means everything. Also, putting up with me is just something you’ll have to do. So, sorryimnotsorry about any mood swings that may occur.
I do get to chat with Janny most days, and it’s what I look forward to the most. That, and it being a reasonable hour for me to have a beer. Can I say that? #nojudgement
His face and voice and antics make me happy. And nobody will ever make me laugh like he can, so it’s great when I do get to hear from him bc laughter is a great mood lifter. He seems to be doing ok, even though his room looks like a scarier version of my college dorm room. Despite his tiredness (from working 7 days a week, 8-10 hours/day), he still manages to make time for me and the boys. Always with a smile or a joke… He is just the best, really. I love him more than I can express.
I’m blogging today from my front porch while Arthur and Frank nap, so I’m trying to hurry through*
OH! This is my BIRTHDAY MONTH!! Yes, yes, yes..I know you’ve ALL been wondering when you could send me gifts and vodka, and I’m pleased to tell you the wait it OVER! Send me all the things! I turn (had to think about it, counting the years on my fingers) 31 this Thursday, and I’ll probably bring in the new age with baby vomit, shitty diapers, and microwave corndogs. And all that, in all its yucky and blahness, is okay. I love being me and I love my life here. I love the chaos and the to-do lists and the babies and all of it. I love it because I worked hard to get here. I’m a good mama with a sense of humor (which, let’s be real, a lot of moms don’t have!), and I worked hard this summer and made sacrifices to get my yoga instructor certificate! I’m proud of me. And I’m proud of my family. I’m in love with the man of my dreams- like, insane, over-the-moon, can’t catch my breath, exploding heart, big BIG love. My boys are healthy and beautiful and SMART. I love my house and my neighborhood. I love DENNIS… There is so much to be thankful for, and my heart is overflowing with gratitude.
On that note~ I want you to get happy, too, and find some goodness in your day/life! Hold on to it, and enjoy positive moments! I sound like a hippy, but what I’m saying and feel is true:
One happy moment in your day can change your entire outlook!
Find that moment and spread good vibes 🙂