34 weeks pregnant feels like 40 weeks pregnant.

Some current stats on zeh pregnancy~

Good thoughts/happenings: This time next month, I could be blogging about my BABY instead of my pregnancy 🙂
Complaints/worries: Extremely difficult finding a comfy position for sleeping/not sleeping well (which leads to cranky mornings). Worried I will go into labor early.
Cravings: Raisin Bran w/blueberries, deli sandwiches, and Drumstick ice cream cones
Weight gain: 28 actual lbs, 150 feels-like lbs
Stretch marks: nope. Just a lot of tiny skin tags (gross)
Days til due date: 41
Number of clothing I own that I can fit into: 5

boom.

I do have a few things still to rant about. Worries. Worrying is something that I do too often and wish I could stop doing. And I am seriously NOT a worrier. This whole “stressed-out/ moody” me is totally pregnancy induced. I worry about my Oliver and how he will handle being a brother. I worry about Jan and how he will handle EVERYTHING. I worry about the birth & hope it goes smoothly/as planned. I worry about being swarmed with too much right after the baby is born. I think a lot about how it will be when baby Frank is home, and I’ll admit I get nervous about it. What will Ollie and Jan think of the new sleep-deprived, seemingly absent mommy who ‘only’ shows baby attention? How will they handle it emotionally, and will it all BE OKAY? #magic8ballsaysaskagainlater

In the last 2 weeks, I have definitely lost a lot of what little energies I had left. By the end of the day (for me, is like 5-6pm), I am ready to lay in my cloud bed with my feet up. Ollie notices. Jan notices. And I truly feel bad for being tired a lot and/or not being able to walk or stand for more than 20 min. It is becoming my reasoning for outbursts and not watching tv shows, but I don’t think the boys fully understand. They just think I “don’t want to hang out” with them and that makes me feel terrible, and I try explaining but they don’t get it so I get more irritable (DO YOU GET WHY I AM MOODY AND EXHAUSTED YET?). Oliver will make remarks when activities are brought up (like biking or playing sports with him) and say things like, “Oh yeah I forgot you can’t do that because you are pregnant.” And then when I try jogging after him when we are crossing the street or rushing to the car in a parking lot, he yells at me, “Mommy, don’t rush! You are pregnant!” So, it is sweet, but I hate being this “sit on the sidelines” kind of mum. And I know it will be like this for a while after baby is here, too. It is just so hard explaining the “why” to a 7-year old (no matter how independent he may seem). It isn’t any easier explaining the “why” to a 31-year old, either. Trust me. I feel the most guilt from ditching out on couch time with Janny boy (because couch time/tv show-watching time is usually the only time we get to spend by ourselves/together, once Ollie is in bed).  Now, add in Frank. A needy newborn who has a crazy sleep schedule and can be soothed by mum’s milk and/or rocking. Kind of cuts back on time I normally spend with my [current] guys. Jan’s mom made the comment “let the competition for Ash’s attention begin!” And I can only imagine how this “competition” will pan out. I am hoping for the BEST and wishing for the SUPER BEST.

Overthinking is the biggest cause of our unhappiness. Keep yourself occupied. Keep your mind off things that don’t help you. Be optimistic. – Anonymous

Thinking more on the upbeat ~ babies are wonderful! The thought of meeting my son fills my heart to the brim, and I know he will light up our family’s lives! Jan being a daddy (for reals), and imagining him holding a tiny mini-him gives me butterflies #notgasipromise
Baby Frank will learn all the things from his big bro, Ollie, and the two of them will be inseparable. I know the first couple months will be rough, but our family is strong! *cue triumphant, WINNING music*

Our next check up is the 30th, and I have to go in for ANOTHER blood draw before then. Doc is checking on my blood sugar again. Not looking forward to that. Damn blood suckers.

Jan and I have attended 2/4 child prep classes now, and I really feel the info (however corny some of the classes may be) is rather helpful. Next week, we get to tour the birthing floor! I have my hospital bag packed and by the front door, too. WE ARE READY(-ish)!

PS: This Friday is my last day at work… I AM ALMOST A REAL STAY-AT-HOME-MOM AND I AM THRILLED!

I leave you w/this:

family photo times

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Parenting Woes & Showering Baby Frank

‘Ello, ‘ello. Let’s get all the things up to date, shall we?

So, last Monday Oliver was super sick. I kept him from school because he said his stomach hurt and he wasn’t hungry (which was unusual in itself, because he always eats breakfast). He was tired and slept the whole day. Then around 3pm he starts crying and screaming, holding his stomach. Jan was home because he’d just flown back from Las Vegas that morning, so we kept asking where it hurt. I touched on his abdomen and he freaked out. I have never seen him in that kind of pain. So…I loaded him in the car and went to the ER. Poor thing was writhing in pain, and the nurses checked us in and got a room for him. They put an IV in his arm, which was more unpleasant than anything ever, and gave him morphine for the pain (I know…morphine seemed a bit extreme to me, too, but I guess they do that). We waited around for a while. Oliver looked so pitiful and sad, and kept saying things like “I’m scared, Mommy” and “I don’t want anything bad to happen to me” which broke my soul into a million little pieces. Thank god Jan was there to comfort ME and lighten Ollie’s mood. Jan was making Ollie laugh with jokes about which “belly jelly” the nurse will use for his ultrasound. They took my loopy Oliver back to get an ultrasound. Ollie made some cute remarks to the tech about “blueberry jelly” and told her it was ok when she pushed on his tummy because she’s “gotta do what she’s gotta do”…adorbs. They found nothing on the ultrasound, and gave us the option for a CT scan. I am terrified at this point. They were thinking it was his appendix this whole time, but couldn’t seem to locate it. So, I signed the paperwork for the scan (what else was I to do?), and in Ollie went.

smiling once we were told we could go home

He called it a “donut space ship” 🙂 The results from that weren’t helpful, either. By this time, Oliver had to have another IV put in his other arm because the 1st one “blew out” and was filling his skin with saline stuff- this was terrifying because I could see the pocket under his skin filling up and he was screaming and the nurses were TOO SLOW but I couldn’t touch anything! Eventually, we got passed that though. The doc came back in (this would be around hour 6), and told us it might just be constipation and we could go home. #RAGING
Since then, Ollie has had a follow up appointment with his pediatrician. She said it was a stomach virus that has been going around, and to keep him hydrated while it passes through his system. What a way to start that week. Oliver is doing much better, and I’m just glad it wasn’t anything serious!

32 weeks, y’all

I, also, went to the doctor last week. Just my regular OB check up- weight (188 lb), belly measured, heartbeat heard, next appt scheduled. I’m 32 weeks and 2 days now! Baby Frank is growing big, and moving around in there ALL DAY LONG. It feels like he’s rolling, and looks like waves on my skin. So neat! Neatness aside, I feel huge (nothing new) and find myself short of breath alllllll the time. Walking up/down stairs: panting like I ran a marathon. Getting up and out of bed in the morning: embarrassingly difficult. My hunger levels are wild, and at any given point in my day you will see me eating something. I still want to do normal tasks (yard work, house stuff, etc), but the whole baby-in-my-diaphragm thing kind of makes “work” (of any kind) impossible. Five weeks til I’m full term, and baby Frank can’t get here soon enough!
Over this last weekend, Whit and Cassie threw a lovely little baby shower for me! It was adorable and fun and perfect! They had a POSH party slash shower- and for those who haven’t heard of POSH, please check it out #sofun The decorations, the setting, the FOOD, the girly stuff, the game/gifts… all of it was super. And I am one grateful momma!

Grandma Jos (Jan’s mum), Cassie, Sheri, ME, Riss, Whit & Cindy

the spread 🙂

The guest list was small, but so’s my “list” of friends. Everyone who came knew how much it meant, and I’m so thankful to have people in my life who care about me/this baby the way they do. Especially Whit and Cassie. Those ladies get me 🙂  Pretty soon, they will have a wee one to dote on and shower with lovies!

That’s my tummy! On Roberta’s business cards!

My schedule has been kind of jammed full these days. Between Oliver’s activities (piano, gymnastics, soccer practice and games), prenatal yoga (can’t leave that out!), my doctor’s appointments, and this child prep class Jan and I have coming up, there’s gonna be a lot to do before Frank arrives! I think it will help the time pass by quickly. Yoga is still a part of this pregnancy- even though my endurance/ability to breathe has left. I can do standing poses and transitions ok, but others are getting trickier. Downward dog and child’s pose have to be done with a much wider stance to accommodate belly. And stretching my hips feels amazing, but (again!) bigger belly means alterations. I really look forward to my weekly prenatal classes at Indigo, because it is like a little club I am in. And we are all showing off our bellies and moves! I’m curious how many more classes I will make it to!

In other news- my last day at work is approaching. I have 12 1/2 [working] days to go, and am scrambling to get my caseload and kids in order before I leave. It will be a change being home, but it is one that I welcome with open bird arms. I’m ready to begin this new adventure with my baby~