E is for Experiencing [exhaustion, Texas, family and jobbies]

Pregnancy exhaustion is unlike normal exhaustion. You may have felt tired and drained after a long day’s work, but try feeling that way when you wake up everyday. I feel so damn sleepy almost 100% of the time. The trick is I don’t let on/complain about it too much bc Jan already has to deal with normal Ashzilla, and I know complaining about it will only waste the little energy I have left. I didn’t feel so exhausted until a little over a week ago, and it hasn’t improved much since. I hate you, Exhaustion. You are stupid and don’t let me get my shit done. I especially don’t love it when You decide to show up in the middle of my Texas vacation.

Oh yeah, I went to Texas last week, guys!

Austin, TX #weloveyou

Jan and I went to Austin, TX last Tuesday, and it was amazing. We went to celebrate my birthday (along with Maeg’s) and visit with Matty and Jilly Bean (really cool people). The whole trip was fucking awesome- like, adventures and whatnot. Austin is a huge, beautiful town! Jan and I spent Tuesday and Wednesday exploring all the places. We took Matt’s bicycles for a long ride around the river (saw a swan and a turtle family). We rode to a hole-in-the-wall taco place my friend, Chris, recommended and IT WAS DELICIOUS. I’ll say this: the food alone is reason to visit Austin. Matt took us to South Congress for shopping and foods. Also went to this place called Moonshine Grill where I had the best steak of my life. Maeg and Jan’s friend, Brian flew in on Thursday, and we continued our shenanigans. Maeg and I celebrate our birthdays together, and usually only see each other once a year. So, seeing her was EXCITING in itself! We spent time by the pool at Matt’s apartment complex (SALT water pool, btdubz #FANCY), laughed, hugged, and took copious amounts of photos. *see some below*

One night, we got an Uber (this cool car service app that works like a cab company only better) ride to Rainey Street (FAVORITE) to scope out bars there. AND GUESS WHAT?! We walked RIGHT passed this bar where Spoon was performing for a private event! Gah! So cool…

On Friday, we went paddle boarding! It. Was. Incredible. I’d never done it before, and love love loved it. Would totally do it again and again. Great adventure and a total body workout. K and I even did headstands on our boards! #talented We paddled to this island in the river that had ropes to swing on/jump off of. Tre fun. Jan, however, chose to climb atop the gnarliest tree there and attempted to swing from a rope on it. Ended up sliding down and giving himself (probably) second-degree burns on his fingers! He manned up and made it through the rest of the trip with minimal complaints. #mymanissotough

The boys had a good time hanging out, too. I could tell! They probably had so much to gossip about!

<–DUDE BROS 4 LYFE

And then there was Saturday.

Jilly Bean took Brian, Jan and I to Frank for breakfast, and we strolled through Soco for stuffs. Got a sweet leather hand-made bag #treatyoself

LATER ON:

A u s t i n C i t y L i m i t s

It was outta control packed with people. My initial thought: Ho-ly shit. Humans, humans everywhere! It had rained earlier in the day, so it was very muddy. As Jan put it, “it’s a giant pig trough- I’M A PIG!” We trudged through it with smiling faces. Acts we saw: Iggy Igz (briefly, but that was a muddy nightmare), Lucius, Avett Brothers (my boys!), Broken Bells (best one, in my opinion. Could have watched/listened/danced to that all night!), Major Laser (bubble butt!), and Eminem (brought down the hizzeeee!). Feel free to scan my instagram for some videos (@pocahont_ash) When it was over, the millions of humans stumbled out in packs like cattle. It was a sight to see. Rickshaws were everywhere, and we ended up walking quite a bit before getting an Uber home.

Crew: Matty, Brian, K & Mike, ME, Maeg & Janny Boy*Jill was nice enough to take this photo!!

<–SEE!? Look how NICE Jilly Bean is!! (taken at Frank)

Sunday, Brian woke up early to fly back to Dport, and all of us went to breakfast before he left (someplace called Cenote on E 1st St). After we dropped him off at the airport, Matt, Jill, Jan and I went to Mount Bonnell! Gorgeous view, lots of stairs. Oh, and I tried some yoga moves #nbd

r o m a n c e

It was a grand trip! So much fun, and such a lovely experience…

But, I won’t lie- it felt great to be home. I mean, DENNIS was there and he was all “mew i love you mew” and Oliver was all “yay! mommy!”  *PLUS* Jan’s oldest brother, Jimbo, was in town visiting, and we got to see him for a bit! #TREAT You can just tell how much Oliver loves his visits, too. Jimbo has Ollie thinking he’s a legit ninja now… it’s too bad his visit was so short, though. Would have liked to spend more quality time with the big guy. Also, shoutout to JEFFY JEFF LINNBERG (my #1 fan) who is reading this thinking “I wish I could blog like Ash…”

Jeff Jim (Ollie) Jan #linnbergs

~which brings us to today~

I had a second interview at North High School for a position I think would be perfect for me. *fingers crossed I get a call back/offered the jobby! The hours would be 8-3 which would still allow me to take Ollie to school in the mornings, AND I’d be off on the same days he is (bc SCHOOL JOB). Should know in a couple weeks, hopefully.

Things to do this week: take Margaret to vet for shots, clean spare room/”costume closet” in preparation for nursery, all the laundry, grocery shopping, yoga Saturday with Whit, and maybe take some naps.

PS: my baby this week (give or take bc we don’t know exactly how far along we are) looks like a dinosaur.

SEE?!

R is for Ridiculously moody/Rage/Royal pain-in-Jan’s-ass

I was not prepared for these mood swings. Considering I was once pregnant (8 years ago), and considering said pregnancy was splendidly perfect, AND considering my usual think-positive, upbeat personality…This whole irritableness is throwing me for a loop. I mean, I loved being pregnant before. LOVED the shit out of being pregnant before. So, why is this time around causing me such grief? Doesn’t seem fair. Or maybe it is fair- you get a good one [pregnancy], and you get a bad one. Stupid hormones. I feel like my mind is splitting half the time, and I really feel bad for Jan (and whomever else i have vented to over the last week or so). It’s not even been 2 weeks since we learned the news, and already my hormones have taken a hard right into craziville. Normal? I am not exaggerating when I say I have a “fit” at least twice a day (usually one in the morning, and one in the evening), and these fits are always blown way out of proportion! In retrospect, I can laugh at myself.

“HA HA, aww I’m such a cute little psycho.”

Mostly, I have found I get super cranky about 3 specific things: Jan (and guests) not cleaning up after themselves *especially after I just cleaned the house, the dog (bc giant, slobbery baby beast), and anytime Jan jokes around about my being pregnant (NOTE: guys…it is NOT ok to joke about how emotional your pregnant woman is. We will cut you.) Now, I know keeping the house clean with 3 kids (Jan, Ollie & Odin) in the house is damn near impossible. But god dammit, I’m gonna make sure the couches and floors stay clean for at least one whole day. Just clean up after your messes! It’s as simple as that. If you clean up after yourself, then I won’t unleash the wrath of hell upon you. Easy? Yup. As far as the dog goes, Odin is still a baby. He just turned one, and is rambunctious as all get up sometimes. There is no getting around it, he can’t help it (I can come to terms with that fact right now because I have had a muffin and am sitting by myself at a coffee shop far, far away from said dog). And the thing about “joking” around with any pregnant woman is: don’t. Just don’t. Save yourself the verbal lashing, and just be nice to your lady. Be nice to her, she will be less-grouchy towards you. Hopefully. No promises.

Another thing I’m sort of constantly anxious about is my social life (and Jan’s). Being pregnant means no drinky, which means some of our “friends” might/will judge me/not want to hang out as much. Maybe this isn’t true, hopefully it isn’t, but I feel it does happen in many friendships. Honestly, a lot of our social time with pals has revolved around drinking. Not to the alcoholic point, but just socially and for fun. I get so anxious when the weekend nears (or when, for example, an event is approaching. ex: my birthday in TX next week). I know we had plans to go out and party and be merry, and I still feel I can have fun, BUT… I can’t drink, and I find it annoying sometimes. Also, there’s a little thing I’ve been experiencing lately called exhaustion, and I can’t stay awake past 9pm. #wampwamp I know these thoughts and symptoms are common, and I just need more time to adjust to things. But, I really hope and want Jan and our friends to realize/accept/support this is how things are going to be for a while (with this pregnancy AND breast feeding, we are looking at almost 2 years of sober Ash). I don’t mind being sober, either. Hell, I’ve actually lost 10 whole pounds already just from not drinking! #awesome #pregnancylooksgoodonme I just don’t want to end up being resentful because Jan is out every weekend partying it up with our friends while I sit at home alone. I really don’t think that will happen/really hope it doesn’t, but it is a fear of mine.

Also, according to some baby websites (and yes, I troll on those sites because they’re helpful and because I realize although I may be nuts, I’m not THE MOST insane person out there) “irritability in your first trimester” is TOTALLY common. As is irritability in your second and third trimester. Let’s just hope this moody roller coaster comes to a halt soon. For mine and Jan’s sakes.

And so ends today’s rant. Until next time…